A Mommy of two…
Help me. Honestly, what have I turned in to?
I feel like a
cow/maid/couch potato/cook/judge/nurse/manager/CNA /wife…Mother. I’m a mother.
A mother of two children. Let’s be honest, the list of what I really am…could
go on and on and on….and on.
I’m a COW: I literally am. I produce milk. That’s
awesome. It is amazing what the body can do. But the fact that I am either
pumping or breastfeeding every 2 hours drives me insane. It never ends. My
freezer is already full of breast milk. And Last night Kyrie decided he needed
to eat every hour.
I’m a Maid: I clean the apartment, I do the laundry…I
clean up after my children. I’m a maid. Simple as that.
I’m a Couch Potato: I am sitting on the couch most of
the time because my 3 week old eats at least every 2 hours…and it takes him a
good 30-45 minutes to eat. So I’m either feeding him, or trying to make him
stop crying (why he is crying…no clue). So that leaves me with 75-90minutes to
do everything else.
I’m a Cook: Yes I make meals…if I’m feeling up to it.
If not, luckily I have dinners frozen.
I’m a Judge: I hear and decide Raymie’s punishment…due to
her actions. That gets rough depending on what she has done.
I’m a Nurse: I take care of my children…point made.
I’m a Manager: I manage our expenses, our home, our
children, our meals, our doctors appointments, our schedules…EVERYTHING.
I’m a CNA: (Certified Nurses Assistant) There is only
so much poop and pee I can clean in one day…oh wait, NO THERE ISN’T! It NEVER
ENDS…just like laundry. We thought we would have our 2 year old potty trained
by the time baby #2 came…NOPE=more poop and pee. Oh and did I mention that
infant boys shoot pee EVERYWHERE!?
I’m a Wife: Sometimes. I feel bad for Jared. I put
everything else before him, even though I shouldn’t. I have children to take
care of, and a house to clean. Yesterday, I cleaned the bathroom for the first
time in 2 weeks! It was an amazing accomplishment. But, just because my husband
is old enough and big enough to take care of himself, doesn’t mean everything
else should come before him. Poor Jared. Obviously I need to work on being a
Wife.
I’m a Mother: I feel like all of these things, lead
to me being a mother. It’s hard. It’s 6PM and I haven’t even got to shower yet.
Don’t judge, you wouldn’t trust your 2
year old being alone with your 3 week old for more than 5 minutes either.
Being a mother, never ends. There is no light at the end of
the tunnel….it literally never ends. Right now, I’m having a hard time with
that concept. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t love my children, it’s
just I am so TIRED. I just want to sleep, relax, and not have milky boobs. Right
now it’s changing diapers and no sleep. Later in life it will be arguments, boy
problems, girl problems, menstrual cycles, puberty, and still no sleep. I guess
the “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” quote is literal once you become a parent.
Today Raymie
looked at me and out of nowhere she said “Thank you” and gave me a hug. I held
her in my arms and just started crying. I needed that innocent little two year
old to tell me thank you. I needed that hug and thank you right then and there…and
she knew it. I honestly believe that children are still so connected with our
Father in Heaven. Our Heavenly Father knows what we need and he uses those
around us to help us. Today he used my little Raymie to help me. She is such a great example of faith,
forgiveness, love, honesty and trust.
In an
April 2011 Conference talk Jean A. Stevens states:
“Elder M. Russell Ballard has taught us the importance of the
Savior’s admonition to “behold your little ones” when he said: “Notice that He
didn’t say ‘glance at them’ or ‘casually observe them’ or ‘occasionally take a
look in their general direction.’ He said to behold them. To me that means
that we should embrace them with our eyes and with our hearts; we should see
and appreciate them for who they really are: spirit children of our Heavenly
Father, with divine attributes” (“Behold Your Little Ones,”Tambuli, Oct. 1994, 40;
emphasis added; “Great Shall Be the Peace of Thy Children,” Ensign, Apr. 1994, 59).
There is not a more
perfect place to behold our little ones than in our families. Home is a place
where we can all learn and grow together. One of our beautiful Primary songs
teaches this truth:
God gave us families
To help us become what
He wants us to be—
This is how He shares
His love,
For the fam’ly is of
God.
It is here in our
families, in an atmosphere of love, where we see and appreciate in a more
personal way the divine attributes of His spirit children. It is here in our
families where our hearts can be softened and in humility we desire to change,
to become more childlike. It is a process by which we can become more
Christlike.”
I know I have complained a lot and I’m
sure I will have moments where I will do so. But I hope and pray that I will always
remember this moment that I have had with Raymie today. The moment I realized I
need to be more like her, become as a child, more Christlike. And if I do so,
maybe I won’t have such hard days. Maybe I won’t be a cow, or couch potato. I’ll
be a mother. An optimistic mother.
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| Raymie and Kyrie |
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| My sweet family |
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| Kyrie and his moobs (man boobs) hahaha |
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| Jared and Kyrie |
